Major League Baseball has seen some memorable names over time. Recently, we’ve witnessed a hitter named Nick Swisher and a pitcher named Homer Bailey. In the past, we’ve also seen appropriately named hurlers like Bill Hands and Rollie Fingers; a catcher named Matt Batts; and a DH (recently, unfortunately, retired) named Prince Fielder. MLB lineups have also boasted the likes of Mike Colangelo (say it fast, an artful player); Carlos Santana (guitar optional); and Grant Balfour (not the count he is looking for). There are also names that are just unusual – Urban Shocker; William Van Winkle Wolf; and Boof Bonser (yes, John Bonser did, indeed, legally change his name to Boof.). Then, of course, there is one of my favorites – Wonderful Terrific Monds III, who never played in the major leagues, but patrolled the outfield in the minors from 1993 to 1999.
In this post, BBRT would like to take a look at a lineup of names (drawn from current minor leaguers) that I would like to see on a major league scorecard someday. I have limited myself to actual names – not nicknames – eliminating such contenders as Boomer Biegalski (Leon Mather Biegalski) and Rock Rucker (Orrin Christian Rucker.)
So, here’s BBRT’s All-Name Futures Lineup.
Catcher – Sicnarf Loopstok
Okay, we’ve had Nomar Garciaparra, whose first name was his father’s more common moniker (Ramon) spelled backwards. Now there is Sicnarf Loopstok (his father’s name is Francis) – a 2013 13th Round MLB Draft pick of the Cleveland Indians (out of Western Oklahoma State College). The name and the logic behind it belong in the big leagues. The 5’11”, 195-pound, 23-year-old native of Aruba is currently playing at High A Lynchburg (Carolina League). He was hitting .275-2-14 in 44 games as I wrote this.
Honorable Mention: Raywilly Gomez, assigned by the Mets to Binghampton in the Eastern League. Raywilly – it just kind of rolls of the tongue.
First Base – Dash Willingham
A Mets’ 2014 draft pick (out of Trinity Catholic High School in Ocala, Florida), the 6’2”, 225-pound, 20-year-old is playing for the Columbia Fireflies (A level) in the South Atlantic League. At 224 pounds, I expect “Dash” maybe a misnomer. As I put this list together, Dash was hitting .237, with seven homers and 50 RBI in 102 games – no stolen bases.
Second Base – Joseph “Joey” Pankake
Yes, it is pronounced like the buttermilk breakfast offering – and that is enough to earn him the start at 2B. The 6’2”, 185-pound, 23-year-old infielder was taken by the Tigers in the seventh round of the 2014 MLB Draft after three years as a starter (SS-3B) for the University of South Carolina. He is playing for the Lakeland Flying Tigers (High A) of the Florida State League and, after the first 95 games of the season, was hitting just .215 – but with 15 round trippers.
Honorable Mention: Gonzalo Galastica, currently playing for the Dominican Summer League Orioles. Love the alliteration, and I’d give him the nickname “Battlestar.” This was really a close call.
3B – Trey Cabbage
This Twins’ prospect was drafted – out of Grainger High School, Rutledge, Tennessee – in 2015. The 6’3”, 204-pound, 19-year-old plays for Appalachian League (Rookie level) Elizabethan Twins. Vegetable names are always good, and I am a Twins fans. Plus, it’s awfully close to a former Twins’ third-sacker; Mike Cubbage. After 20 games this season, Cabbage was hitting .266, with two home runs.
Shortstop – Yeyson Yrizarri
The 19-year-old Dominican is already in his third professional season – playing for the Rangers’ Hickory Crawdads (A Level) in the South Atlantic League. Why here? I like the YY initials and I want to listen to broadcasters trying to pronounce his name. As I developed this list, Yrizarri was hitting .266, with seven homers, 51 RBI and 18 stolen bases in 97 games.
Outfield – Skye Bolt, Forrestt Allday, Bo Way
Skye Bolt: Drafted by the A’s in the fourth round of the 2015 Draft (out of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill), the 6’3”, 190-pound, 22-year-old is playing for the Midwest League Beloit Snappers (Class A) – and hoping to catch some lightening and ride that “bolt” to the Big Leagues. He’s here to add a little electricity to the lineup. He joins this squad with a .244 average, three home runs, 30 RBI and eight steals in 78 games.
Forrestt Allday: Allday is a great for an everyday player, and there is the two-r, two-s, two-l spelling to add a little edge. Allday (5’11”, 190-pounds) was taken by the Red Sox in the eighth round of the 2013 MLB Draft. The 25-year-old currently plays for the Double-A Arkansas Travelers of the Texas League, having been promoted from High A Inland Empire. He is hitting .281 (in 28 games) for the Travelers.
Bo Way: No Way you can leave Bo Way off this squad. Taken by the Angels in the seventh round of the 2014 draft, the 6’, 180-pound, 24-year-old outfielder – like Forrestt Allday – is on the roster of the AA Arkansas Travelers. In 108 games so far this season, Bo has hit his way to a .258 average, with one home run, 31 RBI and 16 stolen bases.
Starting Pitcher – Mark Hamburger
Mark Hamburger is the veteran of this team in that his name has already appeared on the back of a major league jersey. In 2011, he went 1-0, 4.50 in five games (relief) for the Rangers. Hamburger is currently a starter for the American Association (independent) Saint Paul Saints, where he has an 11-3 record, with a 2.79 ERA and six complete games. The 29-year-old (6’4”, 200-pound) right-hander is a veteran of 10 professional seasons.
Honorable Mention: Joan Baez (self-explanatory), a 21-year-old Dominican right-hander in the Nationals’ system, Baez is pitching for the Hagerstown Suns in the Class A South Atlantic League. The 6’3”, 190-pound hurler has a record of 7-7, with a 4.42 ERA in 22 starts.
Closer – Christian Turnipseed
The reason his “name” is in this lineup is pretty obvious. Turnipseed was drafted late (28th Round) in the 2015 MLB Draft – out of Georgia Gwinnett College. The 5’11’, 214-pound, 24-year-old right-hander is pitching for the Delmarva Shorebirds of the Class A South Atlantic League – where (as of August 11) he has a 1-4, with 16 saves and a 3.74 ERA.
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