From “Iron Man” to “Biscuit Pants,” Lou Gherig was one of the kings of baseball nicknames.<\/p><\/div>\n

Nicknames have always been a part of our national pastime \u2013 some complimentary (Joe \u201cThe Yankee Clipper\u201d DiMaggio); some less so (Fred \u201cBootnose\u201d Hoffman). In this post, BBRT will present two purely subjective nickname-based lineups \u2013 one focused on baseball\u2019s best nicknames, the other on some of the national pastime\u2019s worst. Lou Gehrig<\/strong>, by the way, is the only player to make both line-ups \u2013 by virtue of a pair of nicknames that followed him during his career: The Iron Horse\u00a0<\/em>and Biscuit Pants<\/em>.<\/p>\n

But, I\u2019m getting ahead of myself.\u00a0 Let get to the lists, leading off with some of MLB\u2019s worst nicknames \u2013 often cruel, but always descriptive and almost always interesting.<\/p>\n

—–WORST NICKNAME LINEUP—–<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

P – Hugh \u201cLosing Pitcher\u201d Mulcahy <\/strong><\/span>\u2026 Ouch! Mulcahy \u201cenjoyed\u201d a nine-season major league career (1935-47, minus five WWII years), during which he earned his nickname. He ran up a career record of 45-89, with a 4.49 ERA (primarily with the Phillies), leading the NL in losses twice, hits allowed once, earned runs allowed twice, walks allowed once, hit batsmen twice and wild pitches once. Notably, he made one MLB All Star squad; in 1944, when he led the NL with 22 losses (versus 13 wins), despite a respectable 3.60 ERA.<\/p>\n

C – Gabby \u201cOld Tomato Face\u201d Hartnett<\/strong> <\/span>\u2026 The Hall of Fame catcher reportedly picked up his nickname as he gained weight and developed a ruddy complexion. Notably, even \u201cGabby\u201d was a nickname (real name Charles Leo Hartnett) \u2013 reflecting Hartnett\u2019s career-long shyness and reluctance to speak to anyone, particularly reporters. Harnett played 20 MLB seasons (1922-41, all but the last season with the Cubs), hitting .297, with 236 home runs and 1,179 RBI. He was a six-time All Star and the 1935 NL MVP.<\/p>\n

1B \u2013 Lou \u201cBiscuit Pants\u201d Gehrig<\/span> \u2026<\/strong>\u00a0 Great player with multiple nicknames \u2013ranging from Biscuit Pants<\/em> on the low end to Buster<\/em> in the middle to Iron Man<\/em> on the high side.\u00a0 The Biscuit Pants monitor acknowledged Gehrig\u2019s baggy uniform pants, thick legs and sturdy derriere. A Hall of Famer, Gehrig played 17 seasons with the Yankees (1923-39), producing a .340 career average, with 493 home runs, 1,995 RBI and 1,888 runs scored. He was a seven-time All Star, two-time AL MVP, won one batting, title, led the AL in home runs three times, RBI five times, runs scored four times, doubles three times and triples once.<\/p>\n

2B – Charlie \u201cPiano Legs\u201d Hickman<\/strong><\/span> \u2026 \u00a0At 5\u20199\u201d and 215-pounds, it\u2019s easy to imagine the source of Hickman\u2019s nickname. Hickman played 1B, 2B and OF during his 12-year MLB career (1897-1908), delivering a .295 career average, with 50 home runs and 614 RBI. Hickman led the AL in hits and total bases in 1902, when he split time between Boston and Cleveland.<\/p>\n

3B \u2013 Gary \u201cThe Rat\u201d Gaetti<\/strong><\/span> \u2026 Despite hjis less then complimentary nickname, Gary Gaetti was anything but a rat on the field. Also known as G-Man, Gaetti had a 20-season MLB career (1981-2000 with the Twins, Angels, Royals, Cardinals, Cubs and Red Sox). He was a career .255 hitter, with 360 home runs and 1,341 RBI.\u00a0 Gaetti was a two-time All Star, four-time Gold Glover at third base and the 1987 American League Championship Series MVP.<\/p>\n

SS \u2013 Bill \u201cWagon Tongue\u201d Keister<\/strong> <\/span>\u2026 Unlike Gabby Hartnett (see the catcher on this list), Bill Keister just wouldn\u2019t shut up.\u00a0 In a seven-season MLB career (1896-1903), Keister played for Brooklyn, Boston, Saint Louis, and Philadelphia in the NL and Baltimore and Washington in the AL.\u00a0 He hit .312, with 18 home runs, 400 RBI and 131 stolen bases \u2013 spending time at shortstop, third base and second base.\u00a0\u00a0 In the field, Wagon Tongue did not put his money where his mouth was. \u00a0In 1901, he set the all-time MLB low for fielding average by a shortstop (.851) – making 97 errors in 112 games (650 total chances).<\/p>\n

LF \u2013 Johnny \u201cUgly\u201d Dickshot<\/strong> <\/span>\u2026 Not the best looking of men, it\u2019s reported that Dickshot granted himself the title of the ugliest man in baseball.\u00a0 Clearly, the combination of his nickname and actual name earns Dickshot a spot on this list of worst baseball nicknames.\u00a0 In six major-league seasons (spread over 1936-45), he played in 322 games (Pirates, Giants, White Sox), hitting .276, with seven home runs and 116 RBI. More than half his career offensive production came in his final season (1945, White Sox), when he hit .302, with seven home runs and 58 RBI.<\/p>\n

CF \u2013 Hunter \u201cCaptain Underpants\u201d Pence<\/strong><\/span> \u2026 I hadn\u2019t heard this one before, but as I searched for nicknames from a variety of sources, this came up for Pence. The story has it that, during a minor league game, an aggressive heckler thought that (on the minor league PA system) \u201cHunter Pence\u201d sounded a lot like \u201cUnder Pants\u201d and proceeded to taunt him with the Underpants <\/em>chant, which\u00a0 apparently had more staying power when teammates promoted Mr. Underpants to \u201cCaptain .\u201d\u00a0 In nine MLB seasons (2007-19; Astros, Phillies, Giants, Rangers), the still-active Pence has put up a .280-242-936 line, with 120 steals.\u00a0 He is a four-time All Star \u2013 and has also hit .254, with two home runs and 16 RBI in 43 post-season games.\u00a0 Primarily a right fielder, Pence has started 1,399 games in right, 95 in center and 53 in left.<\/p>\n

RF \u2013 \u201cBucketfoot\u201d Al Simmons<\/strong> <\/span>\u2026 Another Hall of Famer on this list, Simmons\u2019 nickname (which he disliked) was drawn from his batting stance.\u00a0 The bucketfoot stance seemed to work for him. In 20 MLB seasons (1924-1944; Athletics, White Sox, Tigers, Senators, Braves, Reds, Red Sox), Simmons hit .334, with 307 home runs and 1,828 RBI. He led his league in batting average, hits and total bases twice each and RBI once.<\/p>\n

So, there is BBRT\u2019s worst nickname lineup. If I had a bench, it would be manned by such notables as: Fred \u201cBootnose\u201d Hoffman; Walt \u201cNo Neck\u201d Williams; Jeff \u201cPenitentiary Face\u201d Leonard; Bill \u201cDummy\u201d Hoy; Ernie \u201cSchnozz\u201d Lombardi; Harry \u201cStinky\u201dDavis; Don \u201cThe Gerbil\u201d Zimmer;\u00a0 Mike \u201cThe Human Rain Delay\u201d Hargrove; Dick \u201cDr. Strangeglove\u201d Stuart; and Bris \u201cThe Human Eyeball\u201d Lord.<\/p>\n

—–BEST NICKNAME LINEUP—–<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Now, here\u2019s the BBRT lineup based on a very subjective judgment of the \u00a0best baseball nicknames.\u00a0 As you will note, solid performance often results in a solid (and memorable) nickname.<\/p>\n

P \u2013 \u201cSudden\u201d Sam McDowell<\/strong><\/span> \u2026 Yes, there are some Hall of Fame Pitchers with great nicknames. Walter \u201cBig Train\u201d Johnson, \u201cRapid Robert\u201d Feller are \u00a0just two. However, that\u00a0 \u201cSudden\u201d nickname is my favorite. \u00a0McDowell \u2013 whose blazing heater could be past you with amazing suddenness – was a six-time All Star and five-time league strikeout leader. In a 15-year MLB career (1961-75 with the Indians, Giants, Yankees and Pirates), McDowell went 141-134, 3.17 and fanned 2,453 hitters in 2, 492 1\/3 innings.<\/p>\n

C \u2013 Johnny \u201cLittle General\u201d Bench<\/strong> <\/span>\u2026 Catchers are supposed to take charge on the field and this nickname fits Hall of Famer Johnny Bench both behind and at the plate. Bench was a leader for the Reds for 17 seasons (1967-83). He was a 14-time All Star, ten-time Gold Glover, two-time league HR leader, two-time league MVP, 1968 Rookie of the Year and 1976 World Series MVP<\/p>\n

1B \u2013 Lou \u201cThe iron Horse\u201d Gehrig<\/strong><\/span> \u2026 Hall of Fame slugger Lou Gehrig (see his career achievements in the worst nickname lineup under Biscuit Pants<\/em>) earned this nickname for his combination of power and durability (until it was broken by Cal Ripken, Jr. in 1995, Gehrig held the record for consecutive games played at 2,130). Gehrig was also known as “iron Man” and “Buster” at various times.<\/p>\n

2B – Felix \u201cThe Cat\u201d Millan<\/strong> <\/span>\u2026 The Cat earned his nickname for his slick fielding around the keystone sack.\u00a0 In 12 MLB seasons (1966-77, with the Brave s and Mets), Millan was a three-time All Star and two-time Gold Glover. He put up respectable offensive numbers with a career line of .279-22-403, with 699 runs scored.<\/p>\n

3B \u2013 Pete \u201cCharlie Hustle\u201d Rose<\/strong><\/span> \u2026 BBRT could have put the ultimate hustler in at nearly any place on the diamond, but I like his aggressive play at the hot corner \u2013 where Rose started 627 games in his career. MLB\u2019s all-time hits leader (4,256), Rose played 24 seasons in the majors (1963-86) \u2013 with the Reds (19), Phillies and Expos. Known for his hustle and aggressive play, Rose was a 17-time All Star, three-time batting champion and two-time Gold Glover, as well as the 1963 NL Rookie of the Year and 1973 NL MVP. He led the NL in games played five times, hits seven times, double five times, and runs scored four times.<\/p>\n

SS \u2013 Ozzie \u201cThe Wizard of Oz\u201d Smith<\/strong><\/span> \u2026 In his 19 MLB seasons (1978-96) Padres, Cardinals), Hall of Famer Smith\u2019s defensive wizardry earned him 13 Gold Gloves. The 15-time All Star had a career average of .262, with 28 home runs, 793 RBI, and 1,257 runs scored.<\/p>\n